Ini first time nak tulis post mcm nie... Just random thoughts while thinking nothing except osce and medic.
Stress.. Biasalah budak medic.. Osce and eop.. Case summary.. InsyaAllah boleh buat.. Mesti lulus..
Tissue.
Semua buat cam tu.. Biar perlu, pakai then buang.. Kalau x, biarkan je mcm tu.
Itulah aku i guess...
Pernah tak terpikir utk bukak pintu time kereta tgh meluncur laju?
Pernah tak terbayang bila tgh drive keluar simpang, kereta yg dipandu bakal dilanggar ngn kereta yg x reti perlahan kenderaan di simpang/selekoh?
Buka buku... Tak blh fokus.. Tutup..
Buka blk dgn harapan sme ygg baca melekat di kotak minda dan hati agar jadi panduan dlm perjlanan carier yg masih jauh.
Exam itu sgt stress.. Learning just ilmu atau exam? I wonder myself.. Still wondering.. But deep inside i know the answer :) found it during the hectic time.
Friends? Sure itu kawan bukan lawan?
Alone better than beramai-ramai? Sure?
Panic attack.. Anxiety attack.. Crowd phobia.. Why just me? Not others?
Being different. Big size? More estrogen? More testosterone? Too caring? Goth? Emo?
Xlayak utk temui cinta. Xlayak kahwin?
Kenapa kapel, kawen tapi ends up sengsara, sedih?
Why happy? When sadness came after that?
Smile? Perlu ke?
Tears? Hurmm...
Expression of emotion
Suicide? It was in the news. RIP Alvien. N few HO yg suicide within this year.
He's gone. Never been mine once or forever. Afterall it was expected.
Dia dah mengaku indirectly...
Just let it go.. Let it go.. And focus with present and future.
Takpe. Someday, akan jumpa lelaki yg pegang Al-Quran di public, tanpa segan baca time tunggu time buka puasa.. Lelaki yg g surau esp time subuh, maghrib.. Lelaki yg tak cuba pendam segala rasa dari aku and tak menjadikan aku last choice.. Always me as his first choice.. Always be there for me.. And a guy worth for my tears.
(Okay dah semakin jiwang.. Dropping it now!)
Pernah tenung mata anak kecil?
Yes aku tenung tadi. I saw her hazel colour pupil, everything.. Everything was normal..
And i was calmness, curiosity (entah betul ke x eja) and my reflection.
Yes my reflection.. Why? Her eyes is very clear and pure.
I know exam sgt dekat tapi tgk Good Doctor..
Dulu xnak tgk sbb nnt addicted ngn Joo Won.. Tapi bila tahu cter dia pasal austisme n paeds surgery, aku tertarik tgk.. Terharu.. Menangis each episode.. Why? I saw something beautiful..
What makes a good doctor? Just to treat patient? To love them? Knowledges? Or good people?
Stigma? Austisme? Handicapped xblh jadi doctor? Xblh ada family, kawan, love? Not an excuse for be excluded by anybody in society. Different than me, so he's weird, bad, xpatut lahir kat dunia nie?
Family? Domestic violance? Cacat? Bukan salah bayi yg dilahirkan.. Bukan salah ibu yg melahirnya...
Illness? It is good or bad?
Past? It is important for present and future?
Being doctor bukanlah utk jadi robot.. We have emotion, patient emotion.. We are human..
Just take few seconds and think..
Tgklah drama nie bagi sapa yg dah lost dlm journey medic nie.. Nice story as for me lahh.. Different people different opinion.
Marry him if you dare
Past and future.
Time machine.
Love and hate.
Choice.
Change the past for better future? Sure?
Cerita fantasy yg best setakat nie :)
Being alone for few days make me think byk benda..
Bukan sblom nie x pernah pikir.. Selalu pikir.. Cuma x berani nak expresskan..
Semua org ada different ways of expressing feeling.. And I by writing.. And cerita? Biarlah.. Benda lain blh lah kongsi ngn that person (u know urself)..
This? X kot.. Nnt aku yg kena masuk ward psychiatric.. -,-"
Aku blom gila.. Terpikir je..
This is my thought.. Apa yang selalu bermain di kotak fikiran taktala termenung, memandang keindahan ciptaan-Nya...
:) so jgn buat any assumption yg bukan2 bila baca post ini.. Ini luahan. Ini cara expresi aku..
No judgement. Tired of it.
Bye.. Have a nice day
